Couples get married every single day. Couples get divorced each day also. Of all of the issues a man and woman can decide to do, marriage is maybe 1 of probably the most difficult.
Wait a minute! Getting married is straightforward. It’s a successful and happy marriage that’s challenging to attain.
Practically half the folks who choose to get married will come across themselves facing a divorce within five years or less. Read the rest of this entry
To achieve anything worthwhile takes work. Why should marriage be any different?
Years of your life are spent in school preparing to obtain the job you want or the career you want to pursue. If you wanted to excel in sports, art or singing, you were willing to work at it and spend endless hours practicing. It wasn’t work – it was a joy.
Whatever your dream, nothing would stop you from tirelessly working to achieve your goal even if it meant foregoing certain pleasures and taking extra classes. You studied and read every book you could find to help you get better and eventually become the person you wanted to be. Read the rest of this entry
What follows are some tips on how to express your thoughts and feelings to your spouse so you can begin to overcome your sense of betrayal and move further down the path to acceptance. This is not a comprehensive treatment of either communication or anger. For that information you should refer to a complete program: How to Forgive and Work through the past please visit my How To Forgive page on this site.
Tip #1: Control Your Inner Cave Man
Before you can even begin talking to or listening to your spouse you need to control the inner caveman in yourself. The person you are talking to is not your enemy. You want this person to be your best friend. I know that may be hard to keep in mind when you are trying to discuss feelings of betrayal and anger, but it is imperative that you do so.
If you identify your spouse as your enemy, you will unleash your caveman. Doing this will start the cycle of anger all over again and you will feel the desperate need to win and conquer rather than heal and repair. You are not a caveman. You can control the beast inside and choose to behave differently. Read the rest of this entry
You found about about their affair and you’re angry, right now very angry and it’s understandable. When the person you love and trust most in the world betrays you, lies to you, and cheats on you, the only natural response is to feel angry .
This anger can often be useful to the injured person, but there comes a time when expressing your angry feelings gets to a point of no return. That is when it starts creating more problems than it solves. Most people know when they have hit this point. They want to let go of their anger, but they don’t know how. Desperately looking for a way out of the nightmare of rage that never seems to end.
In my last article, I suggested you think of talking about the affair and acceptance rather than forgiveness as an alternative way to move toward repairing your marriage. However, the problem of unrelenting anger is one of the single biggest obstacles on your path. Read the rest of this entry
One of the hardest parts of getting over from an affair is actually talking about the affair itself. It’s true to say conversations of this type are bound to be extremely emotionally loaded. Having some guidelines for dealing with these discussions is helpful, and that’s what this article will focus on.
The first thing we need to discuss here is whether or not it’s necessary to talk about the affair at all. A lot of people think that they have to talk about the affair before they can really heal. But I don’t believe that that is always the case.
Some find talking about the affair important and others feel it as being counter productive. It all depends on what information the injured person feels he or she needs in order to heal. If they feel that talking about the affair will help them move on, then you should talk about it. If they don’t, then talking about the affair may not be necessary.
You should follow your own instincts and determine for yourself what you need to rebuild your marriage and move on with your life. Don’t listen to what other people say you “should do” what you do is entirely up to your needs, some like the details whilst some just want a short brief or no details at all.
One thing is certain, before you ask a detailed question, you should consider the possible answers (particularly the worst possible scenarios), the possible implications, and then decide if you want to know the answer. Read the rest of this entry
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